A Trump-ian take on Kazi

Press power on your TV, open Twitter, Facebook (to whom we now pre-emptly apologize for a paragraph below), Yahoo – honestly, even AOL – and you will find an American buffet. All-you-can-eat, non-stop, breaking, entertaining news on the US presidential election. Bigger and better than ever. Well, in honor of this, open the gullet and be prepared for a Joey Chestnut-like Kazi-eating contest (seek to 9’40” in the video). For today we will eschew our heretofore understated irony, subtle sarcasm, and avaricious alliteration. Instead, we go full-on Trump:


It’s going to be so great. Believe me, so great. We have built a tremendous mobile app, hired great people, have the best partners and the best deals for our users. We have deals with all people – men, women, businesses, more men, more women – believe me, it’s unbelievable.

We have great technology. I mean, just look at it, everybody is saying how clean it looks and how beautiful it is. It’s a beautiful picture – one of a kind. It’s America, that’s what it is. Kazi is America. Believe me. And the function is beautiful too. You know how they say form follows function? Right? Well, everyone is telling me – it’s not just me saying it, I’m just a messenger. Everyone is telling me, “Mr. Kazi, it looks so great, and the app is so beautiful, and it’s this and it’s that. There’s function coming out of the home page, function coming out of the search page, the create page, wherever.”


Then you’ve got the low-life Facebooks of the world. Believe me, these guys are thieves, little petty annoying thieves. You give them your information and then they sell it to other people. So you are basically giving them your money. Think of it. You are giving them your money. Then you get some war game app coming to you in your news feed. Give me a break.


Give me a break.


Give me a break.


So we’re not going to take it anymore folks. We’re not going to take it any more. These social-media wise guys aren’t who we are. We are what built this country and we’re not gonna take it any more.

So we are doing something really special. It’s not just me – it’s a movement. People are saying it’s the Kazi movement. I see people taking pictures of these beautiful landscapes with Kazi in the background. I mean, it’s like a lifestyle. We have hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of followers. We have great polls. Look at the polls and everyone says they’re excited. So unbelievably excited. A beautiful community. A beautiful lifestyle. Something very special.

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So download Kazi. Think of it. You’re going to be so happy you did. When you download it you will find RunHub Northwest group runs – wonderful people – and YMCA activities – great organization – and activities created organically by you – the members.

Download it. And together we will make Kazi great, and Americans great again. 

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(Kazi connects people to running groups, walking groups and pickup games.)

(Image credit: charmcitywire.com, Kazi, Serptool.com, tshirtgifter.com, pitweston.com)

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